


Be Like The Quaffle

by RJLupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Broadway, Comedy, Filk, Gen, Gryffindor, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Parody, Quidditch, Singing, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:56:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2550035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJLupin/pseuds/RJLupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ron is having a lot of problems as the new Gryffindor Quidditch Team Keeper... and Fred and George think they can use Oliver Wood as a way to inspire him to play better. A filk to "Be Like The Bluebird" from Anything Goes.</p><p>When you think the opponent may top it<br/>Then you idiot, you better stop it<br/>So be like the Quaffle<br/>Don't let it make a goal</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Like The Quaffle

**Author's Note:**

> "Be Like the Quaffle" filked to "Be Like the Bluebird" from Cole Porter's Anything Goes.
> 
> Originally filked July 2005.

**  
**_SCENE: During Gryffindor Quidditch practice, Ron spectacularly fails to block ten Quaffles in a row. Angelina decides to give him a pep talk..._ **  
**  
ANGELINA: (spoken)  
You know what your problem is, Ron?  
**RON:**  (spoken)  
Problem?! Who said I had a problem?!  
**ANGELINA:**  (spoken)  
You did. Anyway, the rest of the team agrees. You have to have some confidence. You have to believe in yourself.  
**FRED:**  (spoken)  
You have to listen to that song Oliver used to sing. D'you remember it, George?  
**GEORGE:**  (spoken)  
Of course I do. With the way he sung it over and over, how would you forget?  
  
**FRED and GEORGE:**  
There's an old song that Oliver  
Would sing as he would fly  
He said it helped him so much that it was zen  
And our dear Keeper, Oliver  
Sung it so much our nerves would die  
So just shut it while we must hear it again  
  
When you see the Chaser zooming toward you  
And you have no clue just what you should do  
Then be like the Quaffle, then think, 'Quaffle'  
Don't let it make a goal  
  
When you think the opponent may top it  
Then you idiot, you better stop it  
So be like the Quaffle, then think, 'Quaffle'  
Don't let it make a goal  
  
Be like the Quaffle and think where it goes  
Or you will not block it, you could be hit on the nose  
  
If you want to star as a Quidditch player  
Then be great, or on those bets, you'll end up the payer!  
Just block on and on, and keep it in your soul  
'Quaffle'  
Don't let it make a goal  
  
**RON:**  (spoken)  
Wow. And Oliver really sung that?  
**GEORGE:**  (spoken)  
Well... no... we kind of made it up...  
  
_(Fred and George exchange glances as Ron stares at them)_  
  
**FRED:**  (spoken)  
Uh... bye, Ron! Be like the Quaffle!  
  
_(Fred and George quickly run off, snickering)_


End file.
